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Women and their friends: Difference between revisions
→Background and overview
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Organizers of "women and their friends"-style outreach events can find
themselves in murky waters. We work to build
contain, welcome, and respect a wider range of people than before. But
in doing so, we find ourselves in situations where tact seems advisable.
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If you want to contribute text you've used for a workshop you've run
when you've run into a bind, please just add a section.
== General writing tips ==
* When writing a possibly awkward message, ''minimize your attack surface''.
* One helpful tip is to begin as many sentences with "I" as possible. Describe what you see or know first-hand, and avoid assertions about the person's underlying motivations. Describe specific behaviors you saw, or indicate how you know about them, if you are writing about problematic behavior.
* Where possible, defend your actions by the rules your group has already agreed to. If you're "just following the rules," that leaves fewer opportunities for attack, and also makes your point of view very clear.
* Insist on a high standard of evidence. For example, ask for ''which specific person'' invited the person as a guest, rather than asking ''if'' they are the invited guest of someone. This may seem somewhat intrusive, but you do it to protect yourself and avoid any misunderstanding. Frankly, it means that the only way to weasel out of the "+1" requirement is for the person to make a direct lie which is easy to verify. This means that checking the truth of what they say is very easy.
* Indicate the goals of the workshop, and indicate how your question helps you be sure you are reaching that goal.
* Where possible, use deadlines liberally. For example, tell the person you will adjust their RSVP to "no" by (for example) Tuesday at 9 PM if you don't hear an answer. Keep in mind that you ''do'' have an event timeline you want to stick to, so timelines are very useful for you as an organizer.
* Be courteous, if you have the patience for it. Being nice to people doesn't cost you anything, and keep in mind you could be reacting to a misunderstanding. Be prepared for that possibility by indicating what you saw and what your goals and concerns are.
== Being welcoming to anyone who identifies as a woman (and welcoming trans women) ==
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